Brood

Schokkend maar waar:
Bread is evil and must be stopped…

I’ve done a little research, and what I’ve discovered should make anyone think twice….

– More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

– Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

– In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid,yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

– More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

– Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

– Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease, and osteoporosis.

– Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

– Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

– Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 80 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

– Newborn babies can choke on bread.

– Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

– Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

– No sale of bread to minors.

– A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete with celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.

– A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.

– No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.

– The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

Update

Even bijpraten:
Ik ben de afgelopen weken hard aan het roeien voor geweest, en niet zonder resultaat: ik ben geselecteerd voor de zware acht van Skoll. Helaas is vrijwel meteen daarna mijn knie min of meer bezweken. Overbelast volgens de fysio dus voorlopig train ik iig niet meer mee.
Op de VU loopt alles zo’n beetje door, maar er mag wat meer tijd in gaan eigenlijk. SFM loopt ook lekker.
Bekijk in het album eens de foto’s, dat zou een aardig beeld moeten geven van eea.

Groet,
Thomas

ps: tip voor mensen die ondanks alles nog windows gebruiken: http://www.hitmanpro.nl
Een all-in-one spyware/adware verwijderaar. Werkt zowaar echt best aardig.

Gebruik FireFox; beter, sneller en veiliger dan IE